1) Thesis statement
Several banks as well as the world’s biggest bourse – the New York Stock Exchange – are situated in the Wall Street in Manhattan. Working efficiently, the brokers adjudicate on many financial transactions day by day. Millions of dollars are earned – and gambled away in the next second.
In September 2011, protest activities against social injustices, corruption and avarice have started in Manhattan and many other cities follow this example. A lot of people take part in the demonstrations and claim “We want to change something! We want to make the world a little better!”
But do they? Is this a powerful means of effecting change?
This question has been discussed controversially and there are different perspectives on the question whether occupying a square can be considered as an effecting move.
In my opinion, it is a good starting point to catch people’s attention and to point out social injustices as well as political wrongdoings. Having read about the recent events in Arabian countries, I suppose that a large crowd of people has an enormous power that might be able to revolutionize any social or political system.
2) Brainstorming
What? demonstration, protest activities
Who? brokers, politicians, the rich and wealthy
students, activists, disadvantaged people
How? occupation of parks and squares
When? September 2011 until now
Where? in Manhattan, in big cities all around the world
Why? movement against social injustices, corruption and avarice
1) Thesis statement
AntwortenLöschenSeveral banks as well as the world’s biggest stock exchange[W,M]*-–the New York Stock Exchange–-are situated in [det] Wall Street in Manhattan. Working efficiently, the brokers adjudicate on many financial transactions day by day. Millions of dollars are earned–-and gambled away in the next second.
In September 2011, protest activities against social injustices, corruption and avarice [T/Asp] started in Manhattan, [P,Gr] and many other cities have followed [T/Asp] this example. A lot of people take part in the demonstrations and claim “We want to change something! We want to make the world a little better!” [No new paragraph] But do they? Is this a powerful means of effecting change?
This controversial [WF,M] question has been discussed heatedly, [s.a.,P] and there are different perspectiv whether occupying a square can be considered as an effecting move.
In my opinion, it is a good starting point to catch people’s attention and to point out social injustices as well as political wrongdoings. Having read about the recent events in Arabian countries, I suppose that a large crowd of people has an enormous power that might be able to revolutionize any social or political system.
2) Brainstorming
What? demonstration, protest activities
Who? brokers, politicians, the rich and wealthy students, activists, disadvantaged people
How? occupation of parks and squares
When? September 2011 until now
Where? in Manhattan, in big cities all around the world
Why? movement against social injustices, corruption and avarice
* The word bourse in English means a European stock exchange
This was really well done, Sandra! Just a few kinks in the usage here and there, but your overall formulation is clear and flows coherently.
AntwortenLöschen